SAHM is a tag which allows people to judge you as a person who has nothing to do in life or want an easy life. Disgusting but true. I am not a person who says, I just adore this tag, actually hate it. Full-time mom or stay at home mom, there are lots of myths about our role and importance.
We as a stay at home mom are the victim of silly jokes. People will ask what SAHM do all day. Stay at home mom are not who have a lot of money and binge-watching Netflix. People never miss an opportunity to disparage moms who choose to be a SAHM. Honestly, I was also one of them but I get to know being a stay at home mom is a hard job when I leave my job after having twins.
My days are not as lavish as I think and I came to know that there are many misconceptions about stay at home mom we need to break. Let’s get to know here!!!
11 common misconceptions about stay at home mom:
We don’t like a career
So you are just staying at home? What a mean question you will hear as SAHM!!! Society has the greatest misconception about all SAHM that they don’t like to have a career and staying at home with kids whole day is worthless.
SAHMs are contemplated as less educated who don’t get a job and choose to do household work. We have to break a lot more shocking myths about SAHM like this. We are not dumb who select an easy job. It is our own priority to be with our kids at home so never pass judgment on us.
We have more time
What you do all the time? Work, work and work!!! SAHMs don’t have job titles but they do numerous tasks. We have no weekends or day off to chill and sit on the couch during holidays.
We also find a hard time to add any task on our schedule as like other working professionals. It’s a common misconception about SAHM that we have so much time for leisure activities. As a SAHM when last time you spent a quality ( silence in the house) time?
We are boring
SAHMs are imagined as women who have a messy bun and wear yoga pants!!! They are considered as graceless. We absolutely love to dress( if someone who take care of our kids!!!). You can also be a fashionista after being a SAHM. Dressing for yourself helps you a lot to enjoy being a stay at home mom.
We are obsessed with cleaning and cooking
Houses of SAHMs are always clean and tidy – this is the biggest myth about stay at home mom. All moms are not a fan of cooking shows or cleaning nerd. SAHMs love their house and taking care of it is their job, but this doesn’t mean we do moping and dusting all the time. We can also listen to some k-pop music!!!!
We have a fight with Working mom
A mother is a mother, WAHM or SAHM. We know there are some challenges a working mom has so as we SAHM has. We do what is more suitable for our family. Some moms have to be at home as they are not able to pay daycare and other facilities so one has to be at home. Some moms choose as they love to be with their kids.
Full time working moms or work at home mom also choose to be like that according to what family and finance demands. We as a SAHM mom know how important it is to stay with your child but working mom has their own reasons. So there is no war between us.
We have old fashioned thinking
A man has to earn and a woman has to cook- this is an ancient social structure. It’s a common misconception about SAHM and I need to write this. All SAHMs are not obliged to do so, in fact, I found so many stay at home dads ( their tweets are hilarious, do you follow any?).
We are also supporting other women who want to flourish their career, it’s a choice we made so no regret.
We don’t need a break
Husbands came back to the office and ask not to give any household work as they did work all day, really?? As a twin mom changing diapers is just like a sales job, run run and run!!! [You can read funny thing people ask twin mom HERE]
Who says we don’t need a break? We also get tired and we need a break. Give some personal time is my best advice for husbands to stay at home moms. You never know when she took an hour-long hot bath or just finished morning coffee without running behind a toddler!
We love gossips
SAHM pretend to be free all the time so the best thing they can do is gossiping.
Women are better in communication[ 7 scientific reasons why women are better than men] so yes they do talk more. But let me guess you have co-workers, staff, clients to talk so if we talk to each other why would it consider as “gossip” only?
I and my bestie always talk about our children, their behavioral issues, their interests- this gives us good moral support and suggestions for a difficult time of parenting.
We don’t have fun
Yes, SAHMs are feeling socially disconnected but that doesn’t mean they don’t love their life. We all do fun being a SAHM. Here are some great survival tips for SAHMs if you really not feeling good about being a stay at home mom.
I can’t tell you what pleasure it is to see your kids talking to each other, cute little fights, make them dress, sharing their emotions and odd but funny things your toddler doing all day.
Have you remembered any funny incidence? I have a lot. Maybe I missed all this fun if I am not at home.
We are dependent on our husbands
Another widely accepted myth that SAHMs are not self-reliant and we are all dependent on our husbands. When a baby cries, the husband will instantly call a wife, can you tell me who is more dependent?
If we are not earning that doesn’t mean we are not contributing. We take care of other household responsibilities very well so a house runs smoothly. We are not a financial burden but we actually save a lot of money. You can ask any SAHM, she will definitely tell you how she tries hard to save each penny.
We are calm and love our everyday job
Who loves his job? As like other day jobs you have good, bad and WORST days. Your toddler is throwing tantrum and middle schooler need to submit his study assignment, both need you and you have to manage even if you are just exhausted.
How can you say we love it? Of course, we yelled at our kids, we got some backtalk or a frozen moment when nothing seems working. We also feel mom guilt and hate our self sometimes.
There is nothing like perfect parenting but yes there are some effective parenting tips you can apply to feel confident again. So all moms are the same, always worried about their kids and anxious if they miss something?!!
As a stay at home mom, you need not play with your kids all day, you are also responsible for their study, cooking, cleaning, taking care while they are ill so you are a sweeper, janitor, teacher, nurse, cook anything your kid needed to be. You are the best manager and celebrate motherhood at different milestones without comparing yourself.
We have to admit that our society trivialized stay at home moms’ value. But you never have to loose your self-worth. You are a superwoman. You are growing a person who can make a significant difference in this world so you are so powerful.
There is so much to say about you, mommy, but I conclude this article by saying this “NEVER JUDGE A MOM”.
Did you face any incidence when people criticize you over being a stay at home mom?
Do you like to add more misconceptions about stay at home mom(I know you will)?
I love to read your story, why you choose to be a stay at home mom and how you are feeling now.