Motherhood is a very demanding journey all throughout. You have to be tuned into small needs of a life that is so small yet has such an all consuming presence. Here are a few points to ponder at every milestone along your journey… smooth sailing Mommies!
6 Month Old Mother
You essentially become more careful when you realize you have a life inside you. I guess you become a mother right when you conceive. It’s a transformational journey to experience how something that lived on you, fed on you, is now moving away and having an independent life of their own.With every step that she takes towards independence,I marvel at God’s creation; how did he manage to create this.
Learning On the Job
Motherhood,is learning on the job. Sometimes you learn how to look after a life, otherwise you learn how to grow away from it. It’s a constant learning. You have to eventually unlearn what you learnt at the start of it. The process is highly REWARDing though. You get paid in smiles and hugs. Your role profile keeps changing from holding the baby to letting go off her. You eventually appreciate the niceties.
Beyond sleepless nights, being on your toes 24*7, zero moment of solace, no time for the basic chores, you realize you have a higher purpose. It dawns that you were created to create. That every achievement, award, promotion, appreciation that you have received up until now comes nowhere close to that smile when you return from a day’s work. Your touch is therapy to someone. Your presence a medicine. And for every pain, every stretch mark, every sleepless night, every sigh that you have borne you have to thank that hiccup, that burp, that heartbeat, that kick, that wriggly move and realize the beauty of motherhood… like Khalid Hosseini says, “for you a thousand times over.”
That’s why motherhood is ‘A journey not measured in miles but only smiles.’
1 Year Old Mother
Stepping Out vs Staying In
I am a 12 month old mother today. When your routine is limited to changing pants, following your tiny crawling creature around the house, feeding, preparing baby food, making sure nothing untoward gets swallowed all you want is a break. I planned on a movie date with my best buddy. I enjoyed dressing up( for a change not wondering if feeding would be easy in the outfit) setting my little angel’s routine for the remainder of the day,etc and got mentally and logistically ready to step out. My daughter who is otherwise ok when I stepped out,cried and demanded to be held. I respected her needs. She would not leave me, I asked my mother to step out with me and take a stroll in the building with my daughter. She agreed. So,what’s the big deal about it??!! Something that earlier used to happen in a mad rush of sorts where I would buckle my footwear in the elevator, run outside of the building without turning back now is an altogether different episode. I am set and so is my mother just so that her grand daughter has an easy transition to stay away from her mother.
The moment I stepped out I enjoyed the feeling of having no bag with my daughter’s need-to-have and good-to-have stuff. The bag helps me balance my shoulder when I am carrying my 7 month old on one side and the bag on the other (phew). I enjoyed not having to worry about whether the temperature is too hot or too cold,is there too much pollution, anyone who is smoking around; I just had to be me. It felt like freedom of some sorts. Even before I reached my destination I had started missing her. Her face, her smile, her eyes,her smells(trust me,they have a distinct one)her voice, her touch just kept nudging me. Although I enjoyed the moment I hated the feeling. It was a strange situation. Every working mother who steps out will agree that when we leave,we carry our bodies but leave our shadow home. Sometimes big, otherwise small, sometimes behind, at times ahead…but always stuck to you – our shadow, our extension, our creation.
The rewards of stepping out could be many but that one award of returning home, that SMILE is priceless.
18 month Old Mother
When you are a 18 month old mother you have in a way settled with the expectations of the role. You want to focus on your health, on your other priorities in life. But you always have that attached “priority tag” to your otherwise BIGG suitcase of things pending…you always have your bub. The balancing act on emotions is not easy.
While this is the case, your little one(not very little anymore) is at times independent otherwise treats you as a one stop shop.
Walking the Tightrope and Doing the Balancing Act
I gave up my high profile career for motherhood..was it easy? Hell NO!!! I still have days when I feel purposeless, when I feel I am not doing enough, when I feel is this the right thing, when I get swallowed in my low self esteem. The answer is I don’t know.
But when I see my daughter smile I know this moment just makes it worth it. In the middle of the night she puts her arms around and holds me and then again turns around and goes back to sleep..as if to check if I am next to her. It’s ensuring if her safety zone is around. I am her safety zone; I am a person full of insecurities, anxieties, weaknesses and yet I am someone’s safety zone.
They Grow up Too Fast
Sometimes I just want to see how she would manage in an unfamiliar surrounding and hence i physically distance myself from her. After a point she realizes checks back if the zone is too far and adjusts herself to the absence of my constant presence. But I have to be in the visual radar. A life connected through an umbilical cord, dependent for its basic respiratory function now is comfortable seeing you in her visual radar..very soon she would outgrow that too. And bid me goodbye to school.. They grow up too fast.
I mean The World
In the middle of a tantrum she wants to go away from me(saying Katti) and then again her tantrum stops only and only when I pick her up and calm her.. I am the pain giver and the healer too. The world comes full circle here. I am the start and I am the end.
She is me, I am her
It’s funny when people ask me to decode her language..i have to give meaning to her words for the world to understand. I don’t need to be explained. I only need to understand then. I need to be receptive as a mother. I am the wind beneath her wings.. I gave her birth for a reason and every little milestone will have to be assisted by me until she becomes an independent decision maker.
When she has a blocked nose and is restless in the night while asleep. I could be in deep sleep but the parental switch in the brain gets activated to comfort her.
She completes Me
All these instances might feel like this other life(that I have created) is so dependent on me..but the truth is far from it. I need this reassurance, this comfort, this communication, this security and not her. She has not completed even 2 years but she makes me a complete woman in ways she wouldn’t know.
That’s why you need to embrace motherhood… It could be rocky, a roller coaster ride, bumpy path… But you are still the captain of this relation ‘ship’.
Isn’t this beautiful? How do you feel about it? How are you celebrating motherhood? We would love to read your story. So don’t forget to comment and please share to embrace the love of a Mother.
You are a completely perfect momma, even though no one says the same to you, feel it and love such beautiful experience of motherhood.