The loving and caring job of SAHM is more shitty than you can assume. You better know that you made the best decision of your life for being SAHM by sacrificing your own identity. But a journey of Stay at home mom makes you feel lonely, depressed and low self-worth sometimes. If you really not enjoy being a stay at home mom, you need to take some action to be a happy stay at home mom.
You choose to stay with your baby for many reasons. Maybe there is no one to take care of your kids, you can’t afford babysitting services, you absolutely love to be at home or anything else, the decision was really HARD.
I know many time people will ask what stay at home mom do all day? What? Should I explain to you why I have to wake up so early so that my kids go to school( I do that when I was a kid and I m doing it still).
My day seems like an ordinary list of tasks like waking up early, making breakfast, cleaning, laundry, making food, do all the chores related to kids and anything you can count on. Yes, I am not paying bills and just juggling between all nonsense work others assume but I totally feel proud of myself being a SAHM. We as a woman respect the choice SAHM made for their family.
Being a SAHM, my life seems like a nursery rhyme “ wheel on the bus go round, round, round, round( you have to repeat as much time as your toddler want!)”. But sometimes I lost in thought what I am doing for myself? Yes, many SAHMs are unhappy about themselves.
There is no doubt that I love to be with my kids but it’s bitter truth that we feel alone and detached. How to enjoy being a stay at home mom when everyone is criticizing your parenting skills and self-worth? Here are some tips I want to share with you.
11 Best tips for stay at home mom to be a happy mom:
1 Plan for next day
Planning seems impossible for mothers, but you can crack it if you really work hard to do that. I don’t want you to turn into type A personality or addicted to organize but plan for what you will do tomorrow. This is one of the simple habits you need to develop to have a more peaceful day.
Before sleep, write or memorize what you will cook tomorrow, important visits, grocery shopping list or are there any pending bills or not. This way you become a more confident and happy mom.
2. Ask for help
I know all the load of parenting is on your shoulder if you are a stay at home mom. Because you are staying with them and you can’t say “ I am tired of my kids”.
As a SAHM, you want to be a superwoman which you are not. You are allowed to take rest and ask for help if you feel lost. Ask your husband or grandparents to look after your kids when you just want to take a nap as the younger kid was sick last night and you were awakened whole night.
Hire a babysitter or a cleaner at home if you are not able to manage it all. Assigning chore will be a great help and it actually benefits your child. You will get a list of age-appropriate chores ideas from here. Asking someone for help doesn’t mean you are not a good mother. Reach out to your close ones whenever you want.
3. Go out
It’s clear from the above tip that you are allowed to take rest and go out when you need it. If financially or socially it’s not possible to go out alone, take your kids with you. Grab every free activity into your town and have fun.
When you become a mother, you become more caring and this makes you more homesick. Your day starts with a baby and ends with him only. As a mom, you never have to engross in motherhood so much that you will have zero social life.
Chance of Stay at home mom to sleep into PPD(Postpartum Depression) is higher, read more about PPD here. Stay at home mom don’t go out much and unconsciously detach themselves with the outer world so it’s important to go out moms.
4. Do exercise
“My baby is my cardio” I show this line on Instagram. Mom job already needs so much physical strength but try to find out some time to do exercise. If it’s hard to hit gym ask your husband or hire a babysitter to take care of your kids for that time.
Doing exercise regularly just for 15 minutes is the best daily habit that makes you a happier person. Even simple meditation or yoga for 15 minutes will really boost up your mood. I love those videos where mom do exercise with their babies, have you seen them?
Find time daily or 2-3 times in a week to do exercise.
5. Let your kid play independently
As a twin mom, I never have to play with my kids as they have each other. You do all the chores and now your kid wants to chase you. Is there any energy booster who make this happen?
Find some creative indoor activities like lego, playing dough, drawing, sensory play to engage them and your back will get some rest. Even I don’t find it wrong if you allow an hour screen time to watch the creative shows and rhymes. You are allowed to tell me a bad mom.
A healthy and calm mom only can raise more confident and happy kids.
6.Slow Down and have fun
Finding happiness in parenting chaos is rare. Can I just not look at my laundry and stare what these little humans are playing with?
The time you are spending with your toddler never come again. The soft tiny hands never hold you like ever before, the cutest smile after spoiling the food on the floor you will never see it again. They will grow up and the nest will be empty again. Feel this precious time.
The cleaner floor never gives you the most memorable memory, the hugs and kisses you will get will last forever. So never be too much obsessed to do things perfectly.
Slow down at the interval, stop overlooking the mess and turn on the music to have some dance on “ Baby Shark”!!!
Mom life is all about yoga pants and messy bun, right? What about if you dress for yourself without a reason? Are you just put some makeup and do hairstyle on your child’s annual function at school only?
To enjoy being a stay at home mom, you have to give some time for you, JUST FOR YOU. As I wrote before to ask for help and go out. Get some coffee and visit the spa. If you are a lazy woman like me, just sit on a couch’s sofa, read your favorite book and put your favorite song on a headphone( Shhh! kids are sleeping )
8.Break the rules when you want
There is a time when your toddler is sick and another kid is throwing tantrums to eat food. Mom is angry on herself as everything she planned a day before is just demolished. You are way behind your regular days, and it’s simply OKEY.
This is the time order food from the restaurant or skip laundry or allow your child for more screen time as you are also a human and you can break the rules when you want, mommy!!!
The SAHM have the most burden as they want to prove themselves that they stay to take the best care of their kids. This lead stress in your life which stop you to choose between perfect motherhood vs sanity. ( Get some best self-help tips to reduce stress )
You don’t have to try to be like other moms as their kids are different so as they. Why keep pushing yourself in the rivalry? Take rest and shut up that perfectionist mommy inside you.
9. Make Mom Friends
Making more mom friends is really the best thing. You can discuss with them about potty training to major discounts at a mall or cry over when you yelled at your kid and feeling disgusting.
You never feel alone when you got back from more moms who are also worried when their kid eat less or eat more.LOL. The greatest advantage of having a mom group is you can arrange play dates and enjoy your adulthood.
Try to speak other mommies into your neighborhood, nearest park or at the school. You can also join local mom groups or facebook groups. I am also part of some mom facebook groups and there are specific groups like breastfeeding too. So why not reach out them?
***Please don’t join any local or online groups which are toxic and invoke a rivalry in parenting skills of you.
10. Don’t dissolve yourself into parenting trap
There is no term like “perfect parenting”. You and I all do some parenting mistakes. Your child who didn’t walk at 12-14 months milestones doesn’t mean he is a looser or you did something wrong while raising him.
Every child is different and never compare them, this is the only thing you have to remember for effective parenting.
There are many parenting books, articles, classes you can join to give your best into parenting. But don’t overdo these things. You are just going deep into this parenting trap if you try to be a perfect mom.
Do what you like to do and have faith in your love for your kids. Enjoy your motherhood.
11. Find a hobby
May I get the time to nurture any hobby? Yes, stay at home mom are the best managers, They can manage everything.
Get your priorities clear and find time for your hobby, even if 1-2 hours a week is good. You can join knitting classes, paint when your kids do, reading, can join the same sports classes or just dance with your kids to develop a hobby in your mom life.
Developing a hobby is the best healing therapy for stay at home mom depression which makes a happier mom.
Are these tips look like a long list to implement?
If yes, Start slowly. That’s the key. Enjoy your life as a stay at home mom because I know many women who want to be with their kids at home but can’t do it.
You get this chance to see your little humans growing day by day, every second. A happy mom can only make a happy family. So start with yourself. Be a happy and calm stay at home mom by applying these secrets.
We as a woman respect the choice SAHM made for their family.
Let me know what drives you to be a stay at home mom?
What is the biggest struggle for you as a SAHM?
How do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?
I want to know your secret of happy SAHM so don’t wait and share with it in the comment section.