In the entitled world where we feel hate and cut-throat competition everywhere how to raise a more grateful and positive child is a real parenting struggle. We know in the future our little ones might face many difficulties, how we can boost their confidence with a positive thought? The toughest thing I am attending today to write.
If you notice our kids have more mental struggle than us. They are in constant comparison state where it makes them be angry and misbehaved kids. Kids are actually stressed more than before. Why?
We always tell our children success stories, show them trophies but never tell them about the struggles and power of positive thoughts. They have to face challenges in the future no matter how much you protect them. Only a positive thinker child will shine even if the world is not a fairy tale as you said them.
It’s not a one day magic, you need to be consistent and patient to instill gratitude and positivity in your child.
21 Tips for Parents To Raise a Positive Child
1. Let them fall
Our kids are the apple of our eyes. We don’t want a little scratch on our living teddy bears. Parenting is just like this. We are in mad love, we want to give all and never ever leave them alone.
The fairy tale world we created will dissolve as they. Our kids are free birds, they will fly high. As like any other bird, they need to learn flying. They will fall. They get hurt. But over pampering will make you look like a perfect mom, not a real mom.
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. Roger Lewin
You have to stand by your children in all cases. Yes. Be sure you make them learn to fall. And tell them to get up.
“ If you fall down, all you need to do is get up”
They never understand the value of struggles and hard work if you never let them fall. Every failure gives them a lesson, not to get success but be positive if they can’t make it through.
Failure and success don’t measure happiness. Make more efforts to make your child a happier person than a millionaire. Only a kid with a positive attitude can actually live better and make a better world. Allow them to learn from failure and make sure you are always on their side despite success or failure.
Life is not all about money, it’s about making great efforts towards your dreams.
2. Random act of kindness
Kindness and forgiveness kill hates. What a beautiful thought when our kids believe in one religion: Humanity.
Take them to visit old age homes, participate with them in social activities, donate their stuff, even going to feed birds will make a great impact on their little yet purest heart.
They learn to help others which make them more positive towards society. Their communication skill and confidence boost up with such random acts of kindness.
3. Positive Bedtime routine
Life will be busy as always. I love bedtime routines as this is the time when you can actually feed your kid’s mind with positive thoughts.
Reading positive stories, having a prayer or just a little talk about what they do all day will work. I admit that having a simple bedtime routine added so much gratitude and positivity in children’s life.
Being a twin mom, I am so tired at night but we follow a routine: tell 10 good things of today. When I started this, my girls hardly manage to say 3 good things. And that’s so disappointing. But as we carry on this daily bedtime routine the list of good things increases, I can’t believe how this silly thing makes them positive enough to notice the goodness around themselves.
They can say any good thing, I ate my favorite dish or I get a new pencil also count as a good thing. Every tiny good thing happened during all day we can say. I follow this routine too. Why? The next point is about the same.
4. Be a role model
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in awhile. – Josh Billings
In this article, Shamanth discussed why she doesn’t want to use any flown language in front of her children. We interviewed many moms and asked them about parenting mistakes they don’t want to follow for their kids. We all want a well behaved and confident child. Your child is totally following you. Do you provide them a more positive atmosphere at the house?
Be a role model for your kids as your kids actually learn from you every minute. Every day you are talking negatively and wish your child doesn’t consume that negative vibes inside a home is not possible. Make a lovely happy home so that your toddler sees the world as more kind and positive.
There are many examples in the real world where children are mentally disturbed and having many issues on socialization when they have seen the aggressive arguments frequent fights between parents. Remember, you as parents are their world for them, they perceive what you let them see.
5. Praise and give suitable rewards
Why as an employee do we get promotions and salary hike? When we do good at work, we need recognition. Our kids need it too. They always look for your appreciation.
Remember praise with purpose. Recognize their efforts, not achievements. If your child gets a grade A in exams, don’t exaggerate by saying that you are smart and intelligent but tell her she learns well and works hard so she gets A grade. That way even if your child gets B, she will not be disappointed and feel herself down but work hard to do better in the next test.
My children get their favorite chocolate when they do something good. No matter how young your child is, they love you more if you praise them accordingly for their efforts. You are reinforcing a good habit or behavior trait when you are appreciating him/her.
For each positive action of your kid like he shared lunchbox with his classmate who forgets to bring lunchbox today, does less nagging or backtalk at the toy store or simply they put all toys into a toy box, never forget to thank them and give a hug or some sweet words to your pumpkins.
Your kind words and small treat on each positive attitude makes your kid more confident and positive. You are secretly strengthening your child’s value system.
When last time you appreciated your child? Go and say!
6. Make a habit to greet
I don’t want to give you a lesson of discipline and manners. But greeting others make them more comfortable with other people. A habit of greeting, assimilate respect and sense of equality in everyday life which shape a well behaved and good kids.
The best tip is asking them to make thank you cards on thanksgiving or family dinner. Let them spend more time with older ones, their experience and care make them more gentle.
Your kid gets a habit to encourage and show love to other people and family. They are more positive about their family and hiddenly practices best communication skills at a younger age only.
7. Use affirmations
Mom, I can’t do this.
I just can’t understand at first. I am dum.
My friends are right, I am ugly.
Is this your son or daughter?
To overcome the self-doubt and negative thinker attitude of your child you need to make your child write affirmations. Say it out loud with them or write down in your kid’s journal or notebook and simply tell them how much you love them.
You are the best.
I am proud of you.
You will learn for sure, it takes more time to do it.
You make me feel loved and complete.
This house needs your smiles.
These are some positive words you have to say every day to your child so he feels loved. I talked about our favorite bedtime routine before the thing we do is say this loudly: “I can do everything”. Crazy but what a positivity this line brings in their voice and character!!!
Bullying at school, transform a gentle child to take self-harming steps. Your positive child deal well in such type of situation. A happy heart overcomes every odd in life. Use affirmations.
Your child is now much more confident and positive about himself that he is not letting any negative comment or criticism inside. If you as a parent suffering from anxiety or depression try these powerful positive affirmations that work.
Don’t forget to remind your child that you are always on his side.
8. Make them feel gratitude
I already discussed a single bedtime routine I follow with my daughters. Saying good things at night brings a slow but positive change in them. They now understand that they got dinner tonight is also a great thing, many people in the world don’t have food to eat.
By feeling gratitude, you will only positivity in this entitled world. If your kids like to write, write 3 things in a diary or you can purchase a kid’s journal or have a prayer together.
You don’t have to taunt the facilities they get but let your kids know how grateful they are. It’s an important skill you will develop to make your kids happy.
9. Give a positive example
If you score less, your classmate will go ahead of you. Look he is good at studying and piano and you even can’t score A grade. If you stay like this you will be lost in this world.
Is the way we give examples to our kids is right? Parents always instill more fear about the future by comparing another child. Let them give positive examples like you need to score well so that you have good knowledge. Positive parenting you can say, have an optimistic approach rather than pessimistic.
10. Get them into any activity
The best positive life lessons a child can learn is from sports. A sport teaches how to play as a team, be resilient about win or loss. Try to join your kid into any activity class it can be painting, football, reading club anything.
When my daughter’s started their skating classes, I was totally unsure about is this fair or not. They got tired and sometimes nagging for not to attend the training sessions. But I can see visible changes in their personality after they started.
If your pocket doesn’t allow chasing behind them, doing little craft activities, coloring, playing at home, etc can work too. Let them engage in any activity beyond study, give them more playtime.
11. Be available for talk
A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. – Robert Brault
It’s really hard to listen to your toddler’s never-ending story! But make sure you are available when they need to talk. When your child misbehaves, show tantrums publicly or backtalk to you, again and again, there must be something wrong in their mind. Talk to them ask why they do it and correct them. This is the most important habit of parents who want to raise a more confident and positive child.
Childhood experiences are unforgettable, the bad ones are the worst. When you avoid talking to your kid they feel lonely and sense of ignorance and hate raise up as they grew up. They have grown up with a negative feeling and don’t have faith in family or relationship.
Don’t avoid your child when he/she comes to you even for a silly thing you thought so. If you can’t talk that moment make sure you tell them, can we talk after sometime?. And ask them later on.
12. Develop a hobby
A hobby is just not a fun thing, your hobby secretly healing you with all negative thoughts and bad incidences of life. Think about it, you will be totally agreed with me. So start developing a hobby in your child.
I remember one motivational speaker talked about productivity and admit that knitting in spare time benefited him in his overall performances, while knitting is considered as a girl’s hobby. Ask your kid and let him do whatever they love to do.
A hobby is not a spare time activity, it’s one of the best stress relief techniques. A hobby calm downs anger and enhance creativity to be a more happy and positive child.
13. Give them less
No, you are not supposed to give less food but fewer facilities. I know you are earning money so your kid can buy anything he/she dreaming about. But spending more money on your kid may spoil him/her. Give them fewer toys and let them play independently.
Toys are your kid’s weakness, but never make them too much lazy that they forget the value of hard work behind each dollar.
Giving them less not only encourages them to play independently but enhance their curiosity and sense of gratitude. To raise a happy and positive child, make them accountable for money, give them responsibility.
14. Teach them about the connection
When your kids show, how you talk to the elder, your neighborhood or family they repeat you. They know people matters most. Greeting them, sometimes do tasks for them, supporting them instill a great social awareness and become a strong reason that your child grew up as a gentle and responsible person.
So even if your kid is introvert, help them to organize play dates, picnics, family dinner so he/she can develop some socialization skills which are uttermost important to create a happy life.
15. Find a zero-hour family time
What this hack? Have a tech-free hour with family. No calls, No internet. Have a good conversation with your family. Develop a habit of discussion and participation. Let your child spill out his imagination and complains. Give compliments on the accomplishment of your children on small things. Learn here why celebration on small win improves your life.
Your kid doodles something, finished lunch box, spell correctly, put back his shoes on place, any little thing happened to admire in front of the family.
You may wonder how this helps to shape a really positive and motivated child who learn to listen to others, celebrate the success of others.
16. Make a habit to share
Sharing is caring. In your whole life span, you as an individual is also accountable for other humans too. You must develop a sense of adjustment and sharing your resources like money, food, everything.
Let your child share with other kids or siblings, make a habit to share things by participating in social activity to instill a positive attitude in your kid.
17. Daily pray
Praying is not only a religious matter but it has a deep connection with your subconscious mind. People who pray daily for prosperity and be thankful always have a positive attitude towards every bad situation.
Praying doesn’t mean asking God for a favor. It’s one of the gratitude exercises where your kid speaks and repeat positive words.
18. Spend some time with elder ones
Elders have more experience that means they see more failures and triumphs in their life. Who can guide better than them? When your child spends more time with elder ones they learn patience and care from their behavior. Let them spend some time with their grandparents or visit old age homes.
19. Use powerful phrases to control their anger
Toddler tantrums are obvious. The emotional health of a child is precious, we need to take care of it at an early stage. Your kid is evolving every second. There is a lot more change happening around him which makes your child anxious and angry.
I know you are upset but you must tell me why you do it.
You always behave well, what bothers you today?
Can we talk about why you are angry with me?
Can we talk about why you are angry?
You are good enough but you need to lower your voice right now.
I know you can do it. But let me help you into this?
Use such powerful phrases to control your kid’s anger issue. Anger always kills happiness. Help your kid to calm down and have a habit to discuss everyday problems.
20. Correct their misbehavior
I know you might disagree with me but correcting the misbehavior is an effective parenting technique. You never have to support your kid for his bad behavior. Either by talking or by positive punishments you can let your kid know what is sustainable or not.
Punishment is not hitting. I remember the famous video of a father where he positively punished her daughter to walk by herself to school( her father followed her in the car) while he got a second complaint of her daughter for bullying other kids on the bus. Decide your way. You can cut off their screen time, less candy, give them an extra house chore like help to clean garage or anything else which corrects their misbehavior.
Get a guide here if you want your kids to do a chore and get a list of age-appropriate chores list here.
21. Feel the green around them
Eating green and staying close to nature always makes a great positive impact on your child’s overall personality. Go for a walk with your child, let your toddler play in the garden rather than expensive toys, let get clothes dirty to make a sand art or doodle on land, all these toy free activities enhance their creativity.
Create a simple and frugal life around them where they can openly fly around without hesitation and comparison.
Last Words
These are some effective easy ways you can raise a positive and confident child. I am sure if you are able to implement some of these ways, you can see a visible difference in your child’s behavior.
You know what works best for your kid. So choose which you relate more at the start. Let me know among these tips to raise a more positive and confident kid which one you love more and happy to start first.
Share this article and don’t forget to write me back if you like it.
Maggie
Great tips! I definitely think letting kids fail builds character. I have friends who let their kids win at every single board game and as a result, they get so angry when they play with my daughter and lose!
Sarah
I love everything about this! I saved it to Pinterest so that a can reference it!!!
Renee
I think this is going to be one of those articles that I read and it changes my life. I absolutely love these tips and your ideas here. I’m so glad I found this
Annette
Love these tips! Thank you for sharing.
Mamie
I do many of these. It can be a little more challenging to get the 1;1 time when we have multiple kids, but so worth it.